Hurricane Reading

I send a big hello out to everyone from my girlfriend's apartment in Raleigh, NC!  Yep I'm home, well at least in my home state, and it feels quite nice.


I flew into home yesterday for a few reasons.  A) I missed home.  B) Hurricane Irene.  C) I left Fusion(my modeling agency in NYC)


Before I go into the details of Fusion and I parting ways I'd first like to tell how I surprised Amanda(my gf) last night.  First off, I had to make up some excuse as to why I wouldn't be able to reply to her texts the hour and a half I was flying on the plane so I simply told her I was at casting calls.  Also, usually, I text her when I first wake up and start my day but yesterday I didn't, my excuse being that Thursday night was a friend of mine's birthday and we stayed out late(which isn't a lie) so when I finally did text her for the first time(after I landed in NC) I told her that I had slept late because we stayed up late for my buddies bday and then went straight to castings.  After being picked up from the airport by my parents and having a late lunch with them, we went home so I could get my truck and make my way to Raleigh.  On the trip there Amanda tried calling me a few times as I hadn't spoken with her all day, which is highly unusual, but I didn't answer her calls in hopes of keeping myself fresh on her mind as well as making her worried and wondering, where is he, is he ok etc.  Upon arriving at Amanda's front door I had a little fun with her.  Of course I brought Willow, my black lab, along with me so I made Willow sit and stay in front of Amanda's door, rang the doorbell and slid off into the night shadows so that I couldn't be seen.  A few seconds later Amanda opens the door, she looks bewildered as she peers down at this black lab on her stoop, then I see the realization hit her, that's Willow!  I hear a gasp, an excited "Willow!" rings through the night air as they exchange a big hug, Willow's tail wagging at 100mph.  I then decide to step out and reveal myself and watched Amanda's beautiful eyes grow even wider, apparently she missed me for some reason! ;)


Fusion.  Ah, my dear Fusion.  The modeling industry is an ever changing species, as can be seen if you Google pictures of models from 1995 as opposed to now.  Some of the models I had the opportunity to meet at casting calls are some of the craziest and wackiest looking gentlemen I have ever seen(which isn't a bad thing, if only unexpected).  Don't get me wrong, not all of the models fit this bill(my roommates being an example) and most of the guys, no matter their look, are extremely nice, caring young men so I do not mean that in a derogatory manner, but I would be neglecting the truth if I didn't say that some of the guys I have seen are not your stereotypical "model".  Some of them are tall, frail, petite, even borderline anorexic, as the beast that is the high fashion industry has evolved its nature.  I invite you to go onto Fusion's webiste, http://www.fusionmodelsnyc.com/ and you'll see what I mean.  As Bob Dylan once said, "the times they are a changing" and I feel that I didn't fit the mold of Fusion's vibe and the rest of their modeling board.  While I have no ill feelings toward Fusion and can honestly say it was a mutual break as they weren't pushing my career as hard as I wanted it to be from day one.  Being signed with them was basically a waste of my time from a business stand point as I feel I didn't get my face out there.  I will admit that being signed with them gave me the opportunity of an inside look into how the bigger markets operate.  In the end what it all boils down to is that I didn't fit the bill of what they wanted in a model.  But do not worry!  I have had numerous contracts extended my way from bigger, better and more well established agencies than Fusion so my career is far from over.  As they say, if one door closes then another one opens, in this case a bunch of doors opened and I will be returning to NYC in October, after my friends wedding in late September!  I hate that I'll be missing NYC's fashion week but all it really is, is a bunch of underpaid models, or not paid at all, walking for designers who are clearly taking advantage of the models services for the designer, without the happy, fairy-tale ending.  That's right ladies and gentlemen, NYC Fashion Week is a bunch of bells and whistle's without a grand finale, for the models at least.  But the models will grace the cat walk, sporting the multi-millon dollar companies latest fashion article without being paid a dime, if the model is lucky he/she will get to take home a pair of jeans or shoes, maybe even a t-shirt.  It can't be denied that it is a great feeling being in front of so many people, camera's flashing, as you "rock the runway", but is that payment enough?  It's a sad world indeed that's not so glamorous after all.


Other news:  I, as always through the restaurant I work for, met some Very interesting and powerful people in the world this past week.  From the Vice President at Goldman Sachs to a Tony Award winning actress, Vice President of Morgan Stanley, President of Details Magazine(an Incredible mens fashion magazine) as well as the Creator and Executive Producer of the t.v. shows The O.C. and Gossip Girls. 
Before leaving NYC I also did a test shoot with a photographer who is also a model.  He's modeled for Ralph Lauren Polo and has mentored as a photographer under Mark Seliger, a famous celebrity photographer.  Mark was Johnny Cash's go to photographer as well as Kurt Colbain and many others.  It was a great shoot and I will share the images as soon as I get them.
Another funny story, I feel, is that Daniel, my roommate and veteran Fusion model, is from Sweden and often I will jump on his Mac to surf the internet and, boy, is that an adventure! All his prompt commands are in Swedish, the buttons on his keyboard are laid out different and all his browser options are in Swedish.  Due to using his computer I can now read a little Swedish! Another friend of mine, who is also a Fusion model named Tony, celebrated his birthday on this past Thursday, Aug. 25th.  Daniel and Tony are brothers to me and I miss them already, as Zack Galaf...however you spell his name, says in the movie The Hangover, "we are a wolfpack".  Speaking of my modeling friends, I'd appreciate it if everyone said a small prayer for everyone in NYC.  If the weather forecasts are correct, a tough time is baring down on them.
I hope you all remember the story about the casting call I went to where the director asked me what part of Europe I'm from.  Well, it happened again.  I was meeting with a modeling agency in NYC and, first off, the agent I was being interviewed by asked, "what mix are you?"  When I replied, "no mix, I'm simply caucasion," he gave me a funny look and said, "well, you look racially ambiguous and that's a good thing."  Then he asked, "where are you from?"  When I answered, "North Carolina" he laughed and said "you are fooling me right now, I thought your voice has some strange hint of European in it".  Folks, maybe ethnicity isn't something I should joke about but being the small town gentlemen that I am, I always get a "kick" out of these people getting who I really am all twisted and confused.


Lastly, I'd like to share a quirky picture with ya.  I am use to seeing yachts, ferries and extremely expensive racing boats cruise and/or zoom by at extreme speeds on the East River which divides Manhattan from Brooklyn.  But this ship was picture worthy as, I felt, it was one of a kind on the River that day!

And of course I will share my latest poem.  This poem exudes a lot of emotions but mostly frustration and anger.  As a model you have to walk a fine line, not just on the cat walk but also with your agency, at times.  Of course you follow standard protocol of being business like and cordial because you want them to like you, after all, they control your career.  At the same time, when you know you aren't being pushed like you should be, it's a struggle to constantly speak up on your own behalf without letting some sense of frustration slip through that could cause controversy between you and your agency.  This poem is about walking that line and struggling to find the right path.  Please pay attention to how thoroughly laced with alliteration this poem is.  If you're not a literary buff, alliteration is when you have two words in a sentence that are in consecutive order that start with the same letter, such as, the man went to get his Shoe's Shined, notice both words start with the letter S.  It takes time to come up with this stuff so that's why I point it out.

Untitled:


Take a breath and hold
Or just bend, break and fold
Don't think, daftly do what you're told.
Maybe try being a little more soft spoken
Even believe best to hold your humble hope in
Does the prophets raven really carry such a terrible token
Hold your hands tied tight behind your back and hope for some slack
Easier ends come from a nice noose with a touch of bloody black
Justice jumps from her broken building and smashes with a subtle smack
This is what it is to give up on life's light due to the periless perspective found in fervent fright
Rooks are black and white but its not so clear what drives your soft somber sight
Beaten, bashed and broken are those that topple due to lack of daring drive
Certainly circumstance can play a rocky role but its the pilot who kamikazis in his deadly dive
Whats your role in life? I don't knows, I don't cares, life isn't fair, I hit a snare, well get up and show some flattering flare.
Readily remember the brush may mold your lovely look but it's still your handsome hair.
Don't look down if you feel bound bare boned to the ground only be tremendously true and see yourself through.

Let's Celebrate!

I come to you today an excited/thrilled/happy individual. 

My commercial shoot with Frye and Pop Sugar Media went so, so well.  The production team was great and the female model was amazing which made for a smooth project overall.  There were two people with high-end digital camera's filming for the commercial along with photographers on set taking still images, stylist, make-up artist and a couple extra hands on set holding light reflectors etc.  We filmed in West Village(in Manhattan) in a cool little park.  There was constantly a stream of hundreds of onlookers who, once they saw all the cameras, would stop behind the production team and take pictures of me and the female model with their digital cameras or cell phones which I thought was pretty cool.  It made me feel like I was a "star".  The female model was from Denmark, she has been modeling for 13 years and can fluently speak 6 languages.  The lead photographer on-set was amazing, he has even worked with Vogue so I feel quite honored to have had the opportunity to take part in this project with him.  Once I have a link to the video I'll be sure to share it!

Outside of modeling I have had the chance to meet some interesting people through my other job at the restaurant I work for.  We had the President of Bravo, Show Developer at MTV Networks, CEO of American Express, a Today Show anchor, the Product Manager at Ralph Lauren Polo and the Cheif over Government Affairs for the NFL have all dined with us.  Another cool thing I stumbled upon recently was the set for Men In Black 3.  I was walking to the grocery store in the neighborhood where I live and happened upon this huge outdoor set with all kinds of filming equipment, tour buses etc.  I didn't see Will Smith but none-the-less it was a cool experience to sit and watch them work for a bit.  Speaking of filming, there has also been a new t.v. show being filmed at Riverpark(the restaurant I'm employed by).  The production team comes into the restaurant early in the morning, sets up for the show, films, breaks down and sets the restaurant back to normal each morning before the restaurant opens for dining service.  Riverpark also recently held an event sponsored by Manhattan Magazine due to the magazines best restaurants in Manhattan of 2011 issue coming out.  I believe 13 chefs were selected including the chef/co-owner of Riverpark.  Riverpark hosted the event and all 13 chefs set up small tables offering samples of their food from their respected restaurant.  I believe close to 300 people showed up for the event, it was quite a night.

Time for pictures!  During my shoot with Frye I had the opportunity to hang out on a really cool private tour bus that took me to the location of the shoot.  It was filled to the brim with various foods and drinks, after initially walking into the bus I remember thinking to myself, "I could get use to this!"  I decided to take a picture of the bus but had trouble getting my Blackberry's camera lens to focus so the image is a bit blurry but will give you an idea of what the interior of the tour bus looked like.

Pictured above: Vegetable display one of the chef's set up at Riverpark during Manhattan Magazine's event

The cover of Manhattan Magazine showing some of the top chef's in the city.  The chef at Riverpark is in the very back row, top right hand corner with the glasses on.

This weeks poem actually started out as two different poems but after doing some tweaking I combined the two poems into one.  Its pretty self-explanatory, but basically its about a boy chasing a girl.  Enjoy.

Untitled:
My heart lays an intricate beat
Her body exudes a sudden heat
Oh baby, fall to my knees
Oh baby, don't you let go
At least wait to see if our souls will dance and flow
Lets grind these feelings away
Don't be afraid to love me true
Her beauty speaks like hey, hey, hey
Never gonna give you up no matter what you do
The bass kicks and the snare rattles through
Jump and skip, one, two, do-dee-do
I can't explain nor contain these words
A beautiful symphony begging to be heard
Look me in my face while I give you a taste
I go on the grind but her eyes leave me in a bind
Sly girl, like a fox
Got me hooked, gotta detox
Lookin' out over castle walls
Winds kick and so I fall
Spiral downward toward destiny
Crooks are out on the cobblestone
She'll love you for a small fee
Steal your soul but leaves her halo home
Skp and whistle you childish thief
True love is dead says the chief
And so I fall, down I fall
They whisper, boy she'll never call
I'm achin' now, gotta stand it somehow
A jealous heart will retaliate
Never the same since feeling her hate

A Day Off

Hello all, I finally have found the time to be able to write my blog this week as this is my only day off over a 10 day work week.

I have good news in the modeling world, I have been selected to be a main character in a film or commercial for a shoe company called Frye.  http://stores.thefryecompany.com/StoreFront.bok  We will be filming this coming Friday, Aug. 12th!  I'm pretty excited about it.  I have also been informed that castings for Fashion Week will start in a couple of weeks so I'll be sure to keep you posted as those begin.

I haven't had the opportunity to do anything overly exciting this week due to working so much but I can say that we've had some people worth noting come into the restaurant.  The President of Calvin Klein, the head of the U.S. offices of Louis Vuitton, and a member of Obama's administration held his 50th birthday party with us.  While these people are only human and are not any more important than you or I, I must admit it is pretty cool meeting them.

A friend of mine, Tony, who is from Hawaii and another friend, Daniel, who is from Sweden are both in town due to Fashion Week drawing close.  It's really cool having these guys around, we all became close friends during the winter fashion week when we first met.  Now that they are back we all hang out like we are old buddies, it's great to have them back.  Speaking of buddies, I am missing home more so than normal this week.  I had to break the bad news to a friend of mine whose wedding I'm going to be in that I can't make his bachelor party due to being selected to be in the commercial for Frye.  Also, I had to miss out on my brothers annual weekend long "Preserve party", which entails hanging out on the PeeDee river all weekend, relaxing, going off rope swings, riding ATV's, listening to live music and eating good food.  Hopefully I'll catch them next year!

That's it for now, I have enclosed a few pictures and the usual song/poem.  One picture is of Brooklyn in the Greenpoint area(where I live) from "way back when".  You'll notice the above ground train lines running through the streets.  The other image is of me going off the rope swing down at the Preserve one year at the Preserve party and the last one is a pic taken of me at a casting call last week.  Enjoy!

This poem deals with time.  Notice how it starts out very simplistic in thought, almost childlike, and slowly progresses to more serious, mature matters.  The point of the poem is to show that we should stop being so serious and be like children(the notion came to me after reading a book entiled "Heaven Is For Real by Todd Burpo), but knowing that can be hard to do even the poem progressively becomes more aged in tone yet struggles to remind itself to get lost in youth.

"If Time Were Mine"
If time were mine I'd get lost in the golden rays of sunshine, staring straight into her until I find I'm blind.

We'd love like there's no tomorrow and forget all our sorrows for our souls are only borrowed.

The heart of a child running wild as I sift my fingers through her golden locks and play in the mud with no shoes or socks.

I'd spend a stint in everlasting dark to appease the raining heart until it mends in search of a sensual start.

I'd raise my voice to say it's your choice to live in the here and now or your past fouls, possibly even the future somehow.

Come get lost in the clouds instead of the shoulds and coulds of dark memories that are still on the prowl.

Look ahead toward dreams but beware the fiends for they to had dreams and lost sight of whats right for they forgot to much of a good thing can be a man's only plight

Look to the heavens to heal but don't kill the idea of inner wealth or calming the mind to seek health.

If time were mine I'd get lost in the golden rays of sunshine, staring straight into her until I find myself blind.

Clear vision and individual peace may be the best decision to help appease our thirst for no war thus far.

Be easy my friend for no good fortune or end will come from trying to contend for the top spot, even the fortunate 500 sweat and not because its hot.

Be like a child and bask in your youth for a while, don't let time decide your reason or rhyme or turn you askew from whats true to being you by allowing others to pull you down, becoming smothered 'til you drown.

Often it seems to happen that we allow others to captain our ship which causes us to capsize and tip.

Then time tends to trip, tumble and dip but don't be afraid to take control, hit the wave and take hold to your journey's course but remember to never underestimate your own force.

Whether it be a gail or hail put the hammer to the nail and the winds to the sail and even if you fail, its ok always say, hey, at least I tried and gave her a good ride.

If time were mine I'd get lost in the golden rays of sunshine, staring straight into her until I find myself blind.

And I'd say, hey lady, can we be each others guiding path, hey baby, cleanse me in your immortal bath.

Half Gone

Hello all, it's that time again!

I come to you from my now seemingly empty room in Brooklyn as my much, much better half has left to return home.  My girlfriend, Amanda, was here on what seemed to be the quickest 10 day trip of my life(heavy sigh with a frowning face).  But, I tell myself, the reason it went by so quick was because we had so much fun(and it just dawned on me we didn't travel to see the Empire State Building).  Either way, she and I had a blast.  We explored the streets of Brooklyn eating at small, cozy restaurants that scream with personality...we walked the Brooklyn Bridge at night, went to Wall St, saw the old sight of the Twin Towers and saw the new buildings they've erected, Rockefeller Plaza, Time Square, Central Park, walked past a commercial being filmed in the middle of the street in Manhattan and went to a comedy club where Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Rodney Dangerfield and Jerry Seinfeld(among many others) got their stand-up comedy starts.  We traveled and took in so much of the bustling streets of NYC that its hard to recall all the experiences, good thing I had a digital camera handy.  I must say that the comedy club was quite possibly the funniest hour and a half of my life, never have I continuously laughed so hard in my life.  I would recommend everyone go to one(a decent one) at least once in their life, you will not regret it.  She and I also had an amazing brunch with my downstairs neighbors, Jarett and Ari, at this quaint restaurant a few blocks away.  Speaking of restaurants, Amanda and I ate at a place last night that served fish and chips with vinegar from North Carolina!

Modeling experiences:  I went to a few casting calls this week, one of which was for a magazine editorial shoot.  The concept is that a female model and myself would be acting as if we were boyfriend and girlfriend, not in the hot, sexy, steamy way a lot of magazines do but, rather, in a flirty, fun, first date type of shoot.  The funny part of this casting that made it stand out in my mind was that, upon entering the casting room, the director mentioned..."Austin, I like your accent, what part of Europe are you from?"  I felt as if I was in the comedy club again and awaited her punch line.  I was caught a bit off guard but calmly corrected her by saying, "Well, uh, I'm from America."  The ladies face instantly blushed from embarrassment.  She replied, "I'm so sorry, it seems I don't know an American accent when I hear one, what part of the U.S. are you from?"  The casting went extremely well after she and I shared a genuine laugh together, I strongly feel(hope) I got the gig. 

Next up, pictures!

 Radio City

Canopies from work(Catering Event)

The Comedy Club Amanda and I went to.

Manhattan from the Brooklyn side of the East River

The next couple of topics are not of any considerable importance but are funny/quirky and what have you, so I thought they're worth the share.  First off, people in Brooklyn must have THE most sensative car alarms on the face of the planet.  There is not an hour that goes by in the day that someones car alarm doesn't inadvertantly go off, whether it be 5pm or 5am.  A van, in particular, that always parks close to my apartment has the most annoying alarm that must go off at least 6 times a day...for no reason.  I've watched it go off from 100ft away with no one around it, the alarm must be cued to go off if a fly lands on the van.  Now allow me to make a 180 degree turn to a completely different topic.  I was going through the front pockets of my bookbag(I carry it everywhere) when I got a laugh at myself.  If I lost my bookbag and someone went through that front pocket they'd find facial mosturizer, a piece of "Purple" from my sister Kelly, a wine-key, a hackey-sack and a ton of rocks.  Yes that's right, rocks.  It was brought to my attention as I dug through my bookbag and all I could find was rocks...yes I laughed at myself so go ahead and laugh too.  Rocks??  Well most people buy T-shirts or post cards that say, "I've been there and done that", while I collect rocks and I take them everywhere I go to remind me of everywhere I've been and seen which, in the end, partially makes me who I am today.  I have a rock from home, the Grand Canyon, Yellowstone National Forest, the Petrified Forest(don't tell anyone I have that one, you aren't suppose to take them), a rock from the East River on the Brooklyn side, Niagra Falls, London(one from the city and another from Stone Henge), Paris, a Mayan Temple in Belize and lastly I carry a rock with me that was found by a cave in the Dominican Republic.  They all vary in size, color and shape but none are any larger than a silver dollar.  Like I said, this information isn't very important but I thought it was pretty cool once I realized how many I have.

As I have started doing over the past few weeks, I will now share my song/poem of the week.  This one is pretty self-explanatory, I hope you find some sort of useful knowledge in it!

"Once"
I once had a friend who said to me, in life you should never concede.

He said these words and I took heed, so I leave it on the line even if I have to bleed.

I once had a woman who wouldn't be true, my young heart was a feelin' blue.

She laughed and said I should've knew that heartbreak was her favorite hue.

I once had a mother that made me see that I can be whatever I want to be.

She said, Son if you truly believe then I know you will only succeed.

I once had a father who taught me to be a man while also being as kind as I can.

He said the key to life is a solid business plan and not to be afraid to dirty my hands.

Mother leaned in with her finger wagging and reminded me to always empower others, to grow taller than towers by making men into brothers.

I once had a brother who was never around but he showed me love when I was down.

He was always into the deep and profound, yeah, we were blood pound for pound.

I once had a stranger give me good advice: don't love the same woman more than twice.

Fire from his tounge he said to follow Jesus Christ, well hell, sinning is my only vice.

I once was alone and heard a wolf howl at the moon, it taught me not to count my blessings to soon.

I must admit its hard to give your garden a prune but best to cut your losses or else you may not bloom.

I once saw a man who was young at heart and old in the face, if asked he'd say kind and caring are his race.

His eyes shined and shimmered like a boy on the chase, if only he could go back and have one more taste.

Once in a while I'll remember this may only happen once.

My Blogspot weekly news!

Thank you for tuning into blogspot.com this week, I'm your host Austin Kiker.

This just in:  My girlfriend Amanda is in town for the week.  I've thoroughly enjoyed having her around.  We have wondered around Manhattan the past few days going to the Rockefeller Plaza, Time Square and Central Park.  I have also shown her around Brooklyn a bit as there are a few streets with really great restaurants and a lot of shops which makes for fun exploring.  We plan on going to Coney Island for the world famous Nathan's hotdog and the Empire State Building at some point but having to juggle work cuts into our time for play and adventure, unfortunately.  I keep having these weird run-in's while I'm out and about walking.  I ran into a friend of mine, Justin, while Amanda and I were in Times Square.  Justin is from Greensboro and is signed with the same modeling agency I am in N.C.  I don't know how this keeps happening seeing NYC is such a big city!  Also, my brother Adam was in town for the weekend so it was good to see him as well.  I'd also like to share the success of a friend of mine from Charlotte, N.C, Mike Press.  If you watch Beyonce's latest video for her hit single, The Best Thing I Never Had, Mike is the guy in the video who's at the Prom with Beyonce then turns and starts dancing with another girl.  They also show another shot of him where he looks extremely sad.  You can go to http://www.beyonceonline.com/ to see the video.

As far as casting calls go the biggest call I've had this past week was an opportunity to work with Gillette to become "the body" of all their ads.  Speaking of modeling, my friend Daniel from Sweden is in town for a few days as was a girl named Helen(from Ireland) who is Louis'(fellow Fusion model) girlfriend.  I feel bad for them because my room is the only room with A/C and I do not exaggerate when I say if it's 98 degrees outside then it is also 98 degrees in the rest of the apartment except for in my room.  Cooking in the kitchen is like going to a sauna, often I am not sure if I'm cooking the food or if I'm the one being cooked due to the heat.

Here are a couple of pictures I'd like to share with you this week.  One is of a private yacht(or should I say mini-cruise ship) I saw on the East River while at work one day.  The other is of the not-so-hit-sensation, the naked cowgirl(I could only get a side shot of her as she was taking a break and was facing away from the crowd and I didn't want to wait 10minutes to see her front...it didn't seem worth it)

I'd also like to share a song and/or poem with you this week.  I happened upon a little known fact one afternoon that, unlike house cats, Siberian Tigers like to swim.  So that made me think, we as humans all have our similarities but there's always something that makes us unique, whether it be how we are raised or what have you.  Despite our similarities its the fact that we are unique that makes us question how we fit in to the grand scheme of it all.  But maybe we shouldn't focus on "fitting in" but being ourselves and who we are.  This song focuses on how we may feel as if we don't fit in while searching for ourselves and that, in a sense, is what this writing is about.

No House Cat

Days go by and I spend most my time wishin' I was somewhere I belong.

Where is the place I'll call home for which my soul has yearned for so long.

The tide rolls in and out chasing the sun and moon that shine down on my face.

With heavens above and the Earth below, one foot forward at all times searching for this place.

Maybe fairy tales told as a child revel with the wild of my imagination which tears my fabric.

Dreamers are left in the cold of what's lost yet hope to make sense of the havoc.

Why do you stare like that just because I don't fit in.  I'm no house cat, Siberian Tigers like to swim.

I'm reminded of a fruitful past as the warm wind does a cheerful dance on my skin.

A bull in his pin wants nothing more than to be released as does a fish who swims without a fin.

Lost, yes lost is the heart that has no purpose but what will be paid to find such a cost.

A man may give up on a dream but the search never seizes in answering that which is truly lost.

So shares the same sentiment the man who has a face in the crowd.

For all is exposed behind the reasons he has to be proud.

Don't stare like that at him, he's no house cat, Siberian Tigers like to swim.

The son of a man who is deemed great has big shoes to fill and can easily fall to hate.

This is a heavy fate and a hardy man is needed to clean such a hefty plate.

A true dreamer who is considered brave may also be the very man who needs to be saved.

For he is depraved of knowing that someone backs him and that can cause even the stronget man to cave.

Those who aim to be unique have a long journey ahead to find what they seek.

But that is what empowers the weak and gives us hope while times are bleak.

So don't stare at a man who doesn't fit in, he's no house cat, Siberian tigers like to swim.

Taking A Deep Breath

This week I come to you after having ridden a roller coaster of emotions due to failure and frustration.

I always try to see the best in every situation and step back from every experience and try, in some way, to learn.  While I feel lucky to be given the opportunity to pursue my various avenues of interest here in the Big Apple I would be masking my true emotions if I said my morale hasn't taken a hit. 

First off, I was selected to do a shoot with designer Richard Chai but due to conflicts of schedule he dropped me and selected another model.  While fashion designer Richard Chai's name may or not ring any bells to my southern readers, it is a modeling opportunity I wish I could have back, to say the least. 

Another hit to the home front was taken when a blogger, Scott Joseph, came to dine at the restaurant I work for.  From what I have read, Joseph is an accomplished writer who worked for the Orlando Sentinel for 20 years and during that duration acquired a large following of readers, so I will say, he is due a little respect.  He was a ruggedly handsome man but he and his friend were quite unapproachable and cold toward me from the get go no matter how friendly I tried to be.  After dining with me he described his experience with me in his blog, stating that I am "youthful and earnest but, ultimately, inept".  We all have our moments of uncertainty and make mistakes(I found a typo in Joseph's blog about Riverpark) and that was the case a time or two as I served him and tried to answer his leading questions.  He also states in his blog that he basically had it out for Riverpark from the moment he stepped into the restaurant due to it being a Tom Colicchio restaurant, Tom Colicchio being the head judge on Bravo's reality t.v. show, Iron Chef.  Call me naive but it always amazes me that this country allows people to be paid a handsome salary for merely being opinionated of others hard work when their opinion shouldn't really matter but "ultimately" it does matter, mostly to those who get squashed in the cross fire.  This man was out to crush some fiber of Tom Colicchio's being but instead fired hateful words toward me, the unfortunate soul who had to aspire to his unattainable standards.  My upbringing was always to be mindful of others and their feelings but clearly today's dollar sign doesn't always allow for that, I consider my lesson to be learned.  I know that this next statement is immature and shows my youth but in my anger I'd gladly like to invite Mr. Joseph to N.C. to help me conduct a controlled burn, mark timber to be thinned, guide a hunt or run a tractor to see which one of us is truly "inept".  While I do not doubt that Joseph could learn how to do these things if given the proper time to do so, which leads to my point.  Seeing that I have only been working under the ethics of "fine dining" for a few weeks, not 20 years, and haven't fully learned all that is necessary to be as versed in the subject as Joseph, I feel as if the scrutiny I was put under was unfair.  But critics will be critics and I am sure that Scott Joseph has been the brunt of a bad review a time or two himself, it's one of those things that you read once and let it fall away.

On a lighter note please allow me to tell a few interesting stories.  I'm sure you've all seen or heard of the double decker buses that travel the streets of Manhattan filled to the brim with tourists so that they may feast their eyes upon one attraction after another.  One day while walking to a casting call I was wearing a cut off shirt that shows my abs, skinny jeans and a pair of really nice "rockstar boots".  A tourist on one of the infamous double-decker buses took notice to me.  He tapped his buddy on the shoulder, pointed at me and they both shamelessly stared directly at me.  A moment later a lady on the same bus noticed me until the entire bus seemed to be staring and pointing at me as if saying "look at that New Yorker wearing his odd clothing".  I inwardly laughed then decided to stop and take an exaggerated bow toward the bus which riled up the tourist even more.  It made for a funny moment that, in some peculiar way, brightened my day.  Another funny occurrence took place at Riverpark where I had three ladies in their mid 50s sitting at my table.  Upon approaching them they immediately said, "you look like Justin Timberlake but way hotter!" so for the rest of their dining experience with me they coined me J.T. and left a $100 tip after having World War 3 over who was going to pay the tab.  I am not kidding when I say that these three ladies were screaming obscenities at one another, breaking into laughter, screaming more obscenities then threatening me by saying, "if you ever want me to come back to this restaurant you'll give me that check."  Needless to say, it was comedic.  Another customer spent $1100 on food/alcohol at Riverpark Wednesday night and left their server a $300 tip, it must be nice to be able to do that!  I shared my apartment for a few days with my friend and fellow model, Louis, but he left early this morning to head back to London for his birthday.  Happy Birthday Louis!
Also, I had the Vice President of the French Culinary Institute as a customer.  He was making his first trip to the U.S. and was visiting a friend of his who, guess what, was from Salisbury, N.C.  The VP and his friend were both very delightful people.

While I don't have any interesting pictures to share this week, I do have another song.  This one is called "Sweet Lillian".  I made it up after I opened a beer and under the cap it read "cheers from sweet Lillian".

Sweet Lillian

The neon "open" sign buzzes on.  She walks in, another night alone.

Bags under her eyes from a lack of rest.  Barkeep has never seen her at her best.

The shadow of sad she carries is always evident.  He tries to cheer her up but he isn't relevant.

Even still he loves her through and through.  But all she notices is the man in the corner who's alone too.

Barkeep send that man a drink.  He utters, he's not your type I don't think.

She questions, who are you to judge.  So he delivers the drink with a twist of grudge.

Cheers from Sweet Lillian but to him she's one in a million.

The barkeep watches another day in Lillian's paradise.  Looking in all the wrong places for the right man is her only vice.

So another long night begins with fake laughs and dirty drinks.  Her short dress hiked up with insinuating blinks.

By the end of the night she can't remember his name but that doesn't matter, they're all the same.

She's hopin' to find the good ol' days but those have been chalked up to a haze.

Cheers from Sweet Lillian but to him she's one in a million.

After pouring another drink he bottles up the feelings that no one knows.  Their eyes lock and for a moment his love shows.

Watching her fearless fall to fate the earth trimmers, the ground shakes.

Tired tales to out right lies, sometimes she stops to ask herself why.

Then deviant desires rise from the ashes to her eyes where they shall remain 'til she dies

Cheers from Sweet Lillian but to him she's one in a million.

Update

A big hello to all coming at you from NYC and a belated Happy 4th of July.  I missed being home and on Lake Tillery with my family and friends for the 4th.

The past week and a half for me have been extremely busy between work and modeling casting calls.  I have put my nose to the grinding stone and am trying to insure my longevity as a New Yorker in hopes of finding success in all that I dream.  Though I am quite adjusted to the NYC fast paced lifestyle I am constantly reminded of my roots as a southern gentlemen. Every day/night that I work someone always inquires, "where are you from?", due to my accent.  I even had a table put personal wagers amongst themselves as to where I am from.  One lady won and guessed right while her son guessed Georgia and her husband guessed Arkansas.  Her winnings were a dessert, Riverparks Chocolate Pot(pronounced Po) De' Creme.  Last night one fellow and his wife made me feel pretty good by saying, "I love your accent, it's not exactly southern but it's not yankee either.  Where are you from?"  Upon answering him he then replied, "Oh, I love N.C., it's such a great state."  Most the people who are inquistive enough to ask about my origins always have something nice to say about the south and that they hope I see that, "we yankee's aren't that mean after all."  Speaking of work I have a great friend in a Mexican fellow named Francisco who is also a server at Riverpark.  Everyday he is, if slowly, teaching me spanish.  During our short breaks between having to run some errand for a table we'll sit and discuss basic words and phrases, it's been quite a learning experience.

As far as castings go I have had one experience that was out of the norm.  During a casting for the clothing line Express Men the casting director asked(as they always do) where are you from?  After answering him a stunned look came over his face and he said, "Oh really?  I went to college in N.C. at a smaller school called Appalachian State University."  Obvisouly my jaw dropped to the ground as I am a graduate of App State.  This fellow graduated in 1995 back when ASU was a smaller school.  He and I had a great 10 or 15 min conversation and I assured him that after winning three national championships in football that ASU isn't as small or unheard of as it once was.  At another casting call the casting director has a sister who is moving to Raleigh, N.C. with her husband as the husband has been appointed a position as a teacher at Duke.  The world is smaller than we realize.

Here is another picture I wanted to share with you all.  On my days off I wonder around Brooklyn and Manhattan in an attempt to see the things or places that a tourist wouldn't have the opportunity to see.  This is a view that I stumbled upon during one of those ventures. 

That is it for now.  Read below for my song of the week.  Simply put, it is about a girl and a guy who are spending time together and all the thoughts that are running through the fellow's head.

"All Or Nothing"

Here we come together, her head resting against mine.

She's thinking about forever while he's got other things on his mind.

They share a beautiful moment on a rustic bench in a quaint little park.

Get lost in a sunset that they both need a pinch to realize its dark.

Hand in hand the quiet murmur of night nestles them close but as not to impose.

Burning streetights collide with shadows in such a wrestle but that's the way of opposites I suppose.

That's what they call all or nothing.

Not to be afraid come closer baby, lets go see a friend of mine.

Lost in a moment maybe but say hello to dear ol' time.

City currents carry us away but I want to head upstream.

Burdens of both worlds bury those who don't hit them with enough steam.

They say its all or nothing

Never know what the future will bring but I know whose hand I'm holding right now.

Beat of our shoes sing in sweet harmony while sweat beads her brow.

Fused by thoughts of the future and the unfamiliar image of things we have yet to find.

Those who sought but have not found always search for answers in places best left behind.

That's the way of all or nothing.

Hope still lies in the young who have not childishly given up their vision.

But they live an illusion, slips off the tounge of those whose dreams and reality had a head on collison.

The man who fights hardest for our equality knows best our differences.

The plan, peace says, is to stop the stereotypical inferences.

Between there and here is where the truth lies for fairy tale love.

Hand in hand they are deaf to hearing those that scream such obscenities from above.

They are giving it all or nothing.